The Talk
by Ray-Tiger-Cat
Summary: [Oneshot] Kai thought he was a good single parent to his daughter. NOOOOO! You can't make me do this! I don't want to die! Kai wailed. What could have possibly caused this reaction? Could it be as simple as... the dreaded birds and the bees talk?


RTC: Hi everyone! I know I'm writing way too many oneshots lately, but I can't help it! Anyhow, you get a break form all the serious stuff in this one; instead you get Kai torture that you can laugh at! Yes, Kai is a bit OOC in the fic, but go with it-for the sake of humour! 

Max: Has anyone noticed her humour tortures people too? How does that work?

RTC: My muses are being strange again and just make me write this weird stuff-sorry! Anyhow, this is my birthday present for Phoenix From the Flames 1978! Happy birthday honey!

Kai: I'm cutting the sap right here. Ray-Tiger-Cat does not own Beyblade.

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Twenty years after their third world championships and the Bega fiasco, the G Revolutions are still close friends. All of them had gotten married and had children of their own. Mariah and Ray had a son and a daughter, Max and Emily had a son, Tyson had married a friend from college and had two spunky sons, Kenny also married a newcomer to the group and they had twin girls and Kai and Hilary had been blessed with a daughter. They had wanted another child or two, and Hilary was pregnant for the second time when she'd died in a car accident. This left Kai to raise a young daughter, Amelia, all on his own. He thought he had everything under control, until one day...

"Man, work is such a pain!" Tyson grumbled to his friends, who all sweat dropped at his childish whining. They had all assembled at Kai's house for their usual reunion.

"Awe, stop complaining," Max said, throwing a pillow at him.

"Yeah, you really need to grow up," Ray added with a smirk.

Kai opened his mouth to also add his input, when a shrill scream rang through the house.

"Amelia!" Kai shouted and took off towards the scream.

The others all shrugged and followed him. Kai had become a tad bit... overprotective since Hilary had passed, and they didn't want him taking out his wrath on the table Amelia had stubbed her toe on or something.

Meanwhile, Kai had found his daughter crying on the bathroom floor. Now, she was an eleven year old, fairly intelligent and coordinated girl, so Kai was confused by the sight.  
"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, stroking her brown hair, hair the precise colour of her mother's. After several more prods, his daughter eventually met his gaze.

"Daddy, I'm bleeding," she whispered, going red for some strange reason.

"Bleeding?! What hurt you?!" Kai roared, looking for an inanimate object to hit. "Wait, where are you bleeding?" he asked after giving her the once over.

Amelia bowed her head and wordlessly handed over a pair of jeans with blood at the crotch.

'What the fuck? Why is she... OH! ... Oh! Oh my God! What the fuck do I do?!' Kai's brain finally registered what had happened.

"Daddy, am I going to die?" Amelia wailed.

Kai took several deep breathes. "No... no... It's just... erm, wait here while I go... um... get some... advice," he finally got out. He ran out of the bathroom as fast as possible, wringing his hands. His former team mates were standing in the hallway and raced over to investigate.

"Oh my fucking God, what do I do?!" Kai panicked. "Oh my God, oh my God!"

"Dude, what's wrong?" Tyson wondered.

"It can't be that bad," Ray pointed out.

"Did she hurt herself?" Max asked.

"No, it's worse!"

"What happened?" Kenny asked.

"I think she got her first," he gulped, "period. And she has no idea what it is! And someone has to explain this!"

"Oh."

"Oh."

"Oh."

"Oh."

"Fuck!" Kai swore. "What guy knows how to explain this? How did you guys manage it?!"

"It?"

"The birds and the bees talk!"

"Mariah."

"Emily."

"Sarah."

"Claire."

"You mean none of you has had to do this?! What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?!"

"I'll tell you what you do; you go back in there and you give her the same speech you got," Ray replied calmly.

"You mean the one Boris gave?" Kai asked, trying very hard to suppress the memory of Boris' birds and the bees talk. He shuddered.

"Um, never mind then. You don't want to scar the poor child," Max mumbled.

Kai nodded wisely, as though calm, but the next minute, he was running in a circle, wringing his hands.

"You know, if anyone had told me I'd get to see the great Kai Hiwatari doing this," Tyson indicated Kai's panic, "I'd have put them in an asylum."

"Shouldn't we stop him?" Kenny wondered.

"Do we have to? This is rather amusing!" Tyson commented, but Ray and Max silenced him.

"Okay, you get the kid, I'll get Kai. Meet you in the living room," Ray suggested. Max nodded and took off. "Now, come on Kai," Ray told his former captain in a calm manor. "You'll be fine. I'm sure Hilary is watching over you!"

"Yeah, and she's probably laughing her ass off! ... NOOOOO!!! You can't make me do this! I don't want to die!" Kai wailed as Ray proceeded to haul his butt in the direction of the living room. Max had already gotten Amelia inside and gotten out of the room.  
Quickly shoving Kai inside, Ray locked the door, trapping them both inside. Now he would have to explain.

"Daddy, why do you look so stressed?" Kai's daughter wondered.

"I'm not stressed," Kai told her, in between gasps for air and hand wringing.

"Uh huh," she replied, looking completely unconvinced.

"So, Amelia, you're eleven years old... And when people hit about your age, they, um, start to go through some changes," Kai explained, figuring he might as well do this quickly.

"So I'm not going to die?"

"No! of course not, sweetie, you're just going to grow, er, in different ways." Try as he might, he could not bring himself to explain further.

"You mean like, erm," she started, not meeting his eyes and giggling, "a chest?" she finally finished.

"Right!" Kai said, relieved he wouldn't have to use the words 'breasts'. "And you will, erm, get these, um, things once a month."

"What things?"

'Oh dear God, don't they teach kids these things in school anymore?!' Kai wondered.

"Um, well..." Kai trailed off and mumbled the last bit.

A few seconds later, the guys all heard Amelia screech, "What do you mean, I'll get a period once a month?!"

Twenty minutes later, they heard a knock on the door. Amelia came out first, red-faced and looking permanently traumatized. Kai followed and you could plainly see that while Amelia looked a lot like her mother, she had gotten her facial features from him, as he wore a matching expression.

"Well, on the bright side, at least it's over," Max murmured comfortingly.  
Kai half nodded, being grateful he only had to do this once, and would never ever have to have that conversation again.

That is, he was relieved until Amelia piped up again, in a little squeaky voice that she used when she was embarrassed, "Um, you know how you said I'd need... supplies? Someone has to buy them."

Kai visibly paled. "NOOOO!!" He coughed. "I mean, um, sure, let's go!" he amended, not wanting his daughter to see him panic.

"Hey, Kai, did we mention the paparazzi is insistent on following you around this week for that 'Where are They Now?' article?" Tyson asked sweetly.

Now Amelia paled too.

Then, in unison, both father and daughter started running in circles screaming.

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RTC: And that, boys and girls, is why guys shouldn't be made to give that speech without at least a week to prepare! Or at least, guys like Kai! Hope you all enjoyed! See you guys whenever I post another fic/oneshot!


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